You always been a ghost to me, the one that lurke within my bones.. A parasite to my soul and a Paradise to my heart.. A intoxicating drug to my memories.. An uninvited guest from my old ouija board… That I never played… And in those long lame of time.. you occupied a space between my breath..
You become a myth in my fairy tale story that i soon start to forget , A mythical person you become and a poetry i prefer , And that name make my blood drops scream . You left me alone in the path of wonderland tearing the map , and i stood there hoping that you will come back someday .
And i curse when love come close and her words was slowing stoping my heart and her pain was injected through my veins and , I took that as a compliment . . . .
The thirst for your poisonous love.. The lust for your witch cast body.. Presence of my voodoo doll.. The black tread tied to your neck.. A silver ring with stones on your left hand.. And a plain silver ring , In mine . The love in your eyes.. the hate in your heart.. Your craziness for breaking others… That taste of your lips.. The warmess In your breast .. Smell of your hair… The feelings you gave me when you touches my skin..
Ooh.. my lost girl..!!
They want me to move on. They want me to find happiness again.. Find love.. But how can I forget all my emotions.. We both knew that the movement I stepped out from your circle….it’s over.. ! everything Is gone , I swear I won’t survive , I can’t be controlled , I will destroy everything , I will live as a person that no one ever want in their life ..
I lost myself in words that I was too fearful to say.. So I live in chaos, it is easier than trying to tame my dreams. I used to believe that love conquered all, But now I see, it only does if you want it to.. She kissed my soul the way she kissed my lips, feeded me with words sweeter than honey and I promised her to stay by her side always.. But promises are all words I keep, ANd that’s something you didn’t kept.. She was with me always soo close that my tears never had time to Bloom, she was always there to steal them away before they manage to take root … Yet all of a sudden she leaved.. Each step you taken away from me was another breath hard to take.. I hope in our next life when we meet again, I have forgiven you…!!
You became an addiction , a attachment , a drug , a seduction . . . Every time i use a drug , it bring back the old memory of that angel stuck in bones . . My heart has no limit but my lungs do . . . . . As the drugs hit me hard , breathing became a war with my own organs . They beg me to stop this thing . But for those sweet memories i could burn myself to death .
Nobody ever understood . . . No one catches my tears at night . . . Nobody holds me and say ”everything will be alright” . . . I was alone as the moon . . .
That’s the time when i met those smokes and small round things. . . Which melt my pain and offered me a comfort sleep . . . She become my physical necessity. . .
I want to breathe in the presence of her , For one last time , I wanna be with her , to tell every words i failed to express , Feel those lips and her untamed tongue once again , that kind of lips which gave adrenaline to my heart , As well as stops it at the end .
These nights have always been my worst disaster , Nights are my curse , The moon is a monster . . It has its own world . . filled with scarecrows , wicked demons , monstrous creature . . Searching for a soul to feed their desire and thirst . . without your lullabies by my side i been hunted by these things . . your lullabies have melted my body , my soul and each cells in my body dance to your voice . . Sleeping become a day dream . . I m reaching my limits like you reached yours and left me alone with these bunch of heartless creature . . For you i was just a promise you failed to keep . . and you where my only promise i m holding on till now . . and will forever . . .
Love is always been a strange black magic.My vision is getting blur from the smoke forming from my mouth , it is giving me pleasure and taking my life slowly with it , every night it warms my soul , i inhale this thing that kills me to make me feel more alive than before , to make me forget everything for a movement .Each puffs holds screams from my head , It gave me strength to fight my own fears .You become the reason for my drugs . As the nicotine began to effect my cells in the body , the whole world become an hallucination . Every wound make me who i am and every scares will make myown kingdom . Those who commit suicide don’t want to end their lives all they want to do is end their pain . And cigarette are the classy way to commit suicide . .
Will You always be this ache inside me. This empty space filled with my silent tears.
Alone again with the dark , Days when roses climb through my bones like tendrils of memories , Piercing my heart , Clawing my throat , Stem of blood in my mouth , And I remember..” How beautiful was her smile “..
Night when you walk trough ma bones , Tasting each drop of ma blood , Haunting for words , And I wake to your voices in my head , And scattered pieces of my heart in the floor.
It’s another of those heavy nights where I don’t want to move or sleep or get out of the shower and the words forming so quick in my mind that I can’t keep up..
And at every night this shower get hotter and longer and one day my flesh will melt off and you will find me there, A collapsed Skelton waiting for you to pull me out from the drain.
I will not be dead nor alive either.I m just a ghost with bleeding heart.
Me : Did u like this ring . It’s your birthday gift..
( tears in her eyes she said )
Mom : I have lost my son three years ago , and now i got him back.
(I just smiled and cursed myself under my breath )
This is the most simple definition of the word “MOM” .No matter what sins we does , in the end she always forgive’s everything . A never ending irreplaceable love .