I fell from the road of reality in to the pit of hallucination , where smokes and colored liquid become my companion .. They helped me to reduce my pain . .  showed me new path ..they pleased my mind and dammed my soul . . .  yet made me feel better than before..

They colored my dreams . . loved me like no one ever did . . kissed my ghost . . Hallucination is a state  of mind that i fell in love with  . . they thought me to drink my pain with love . .

As the pit fills with smoke . . . and when moon is seen. . . and when those lullabies began to heard . .like a small boy . . . i sleep in their arms . . till the beams from the sun hit my face. . .


All promises are just words until you fulfill it ..it either makes a world or it destroys one..
Once,You made me believe in it . . But right now baby you are one who is  teaching me that “it is all meant to be broken” . .

Cause you turned out to be  everything you promised me that you won’t ..

It was all a LIE isn’t it.!!Some night i m scarred that  you’ill forget me again . . I just want to drown all my thoughts in long and heavy night . .

Sometime we ask GOD for a healing when he wants to give us a RESURRECTION.
I hope one day you realise . . I did truly care for you . .

I PROMISE you gonna miss me being there , putting up with you , refusing to give up on you .

I PROMISE you gonna regret everything you done to me , including all the damage you caused . .

I PROMISE someday you will turn back and i wont be waiting for you any longer . . I might be worthless to you but you will MISS me , when i become priceless to someone else…
But you my girl you are the one who HURT me the most . .!
It gotten harder and harder everyday to control the voices in my head or Keep myself from grabbing a blade or holding myself back from crying a river , depression and sorrow seems to be all i know , how to feel . I feel like i m just drowning in a wave of eternal sadness…!!
I PROMISE upon everything i ever loved,
I PROMISE upon every movement we were together

I promise upon every breath i took so far in my life ,
I PROMISE upon every kiss , every hug .  we had !
And most of all  . . i PROMISE upon you . . ! !

I gonna love you till i become a ghost . .


This is not a nightmare , this is not a dream . . she left me for real without any trace . . and i  still look at the direction where walked . . being parlysed by her words  . . i stood there rooted to the ground and then i collapsed on the floor . . drowning in my own tears ..

she buried her feelings within my heart . .  which made me bleed more .. she buried her kisses , her hugs ,  her feelings under my skin , inside every living cells in my body . . . and leaved me in a black hole . . poisoning my wounds and slowly piercing her words like a knife  through my heart . . 

               Lost BOY 

untold stories

I lost myself in words that I was too fearful to say.. So I live in chaos, it is easier than trying to tame my dreams. I used to believe that love conquered all, But now I see, it only does if you want it to.. She kissed my soul the way she kissed my lips, feeded me with words sweeter than honey and I promised her to stay by her side always.. But promises are all words I keep, ANd that’s something you didn’t kept.. She was with me always soo close that my tears never had time to Bloom, she was always there to steal them away before they manage to take root … Yet all of a sudden she leaved.. Each step you taken away from me was another breath hard to take.. I hope in our next life when we meet again, I have forgiven you…!!

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You became an addiction , a attachment , a drug ,  a seduction . . . Every time  i  use a drug , it bring back the old memory of that angel stuck in bones . .  My heart has no limit but my lungs do  . . . . . As the drugs hit me hard , breathing became  a war with my own organs . They  beg me to stop this thing . But for those sweet memories i could burn myself to death .

Nobody ever understood . . . No one catches  my tears at night . . . Nobody holds me and say ”everything will be alright” . . .  I was alone as the moon . . .

                                                                                              That’s the time when i met those smokes and  small round things. . .  Which melt my pain and offered me a comfort sleep . . . She become my physical necessity. . .


These nights have always been my worst disaster  , Nights are my curse , The  moon is a monster . . It has its own world . . filled with scarecrows , wicked demons , monstrous creature . . Searching for a soul to feed their desire and thirst . . without your lullabies by my side  i been hunted by these things . . your lullabies have melted my body , my soul  and each cells in my body dance to your voice . . Sleeping become a day dream . . I m reaching my limits like you reached yours and left me alone with these bunch of heartless creature . .  For you i was just a promise you failed to keep . . and you where my only promise i m holding on till now . . and will forever . . .


Love is always been a strange black magic.My vision  is getting blur from the smoke forming from my mouth , it is giving  me pleasure and  taking my life slowly with it , every night it warms my soul , i inhale this thing that kills me to make me feel  more alive than before  , to make me forget everything for a movement .Each puffs holds screams from my head , It gave me strength to fight my own fears .You become the reason for my drugs . As the nicotine began to effect my cells in the body , the whole world become an hallucination . Every wound make me who i am and every scares will make myown kingdom . Those who commit suicide don’t want to end their lives all they want to do is  end their pain . And cigarette are the classy way to commit suicide . .

Breathing Ghost

Will You always be this ache inside me. This empty space filled with my silent tears.
Alone again with the dark , Days when roses climb through my bones like tendrils of memories , Piercing my heart , Clawing my throat , Stem of blood in my mouth ,  And I remember..” How beautiful was her smile “..
Night when you walk trough ma bones , Tasting each drop of ma blood ,  Haunting for words ,  And I wake to your voices in my head ,  And scattered pieces of my heart in the floor.
It’s another of those heavy nights where I don’t want to move or sleep or get out of the shower and the words forming so quick in my mind that I can’t keep up..
And at every night this shower get hotter and longer and one day my flesh will melt off and you will find me there, A collapsed Skelton waiting for you to pull me out from the drain.
I will not be dead nor alive either.I m just a ghost with bleeding heart.

Mother’s Day #Memory

Me : Did u like this ring . It’s your birthday gift..

( tears in her eyes she said )

Mom  : I have lost my son three years ago , and now i got him back.

(I just smiled and cursed myself under my breath  )

This is the most simple definition of the word “MOM” .No matter what sins we does , in the end she always forgive’s everything . A never  ending irreplaceable love .